Life after the island: A month later

I'm at this point in my life where I know who I am and what I'm about, but I don't know where I am going and who I will become. I am uncertain about the future, I am confused about what I am supposed to do; what my purpose in this world should be. I long to make a difference, to reach out to someone, to change someone's life.... but how? I am stuck in a spiritual rut, where I want to get to know God better, but lack the discipline and motivation to do so. I am constantly making the same mistakes, and finding myself so utterly ashamed and wondering how I got to where I am standing. I have become more self-absorbed. I am always trying to figure out ways to better myself, to find things that can make me look better. I am finding myself being sucked into the media hype; always on my computer, cell phone, watching TV. I am feeling inadequate, unsure if I can go through with what God called me to do next year. I feel as if I am in no place to be helping others when I can't even help myself, or even decipher what it is that I feel. I'm a little out of my element here. I am missing my island life more than ever. I want to go back and sit on the rocks overlooking the ocean, spending time with God, loving my kids, listening to the gentle sway of the palm trees, bask in the humid-dry air, and hug my students again. I've been asked dozens of times if I have had any culture shock, and my answer was always, "no." Here I am, a month later, and I am just now realizing how wonderful my life last year was. Next year holds many new challenges for me to face. And I know I can't do it without Him by my side, "carrie-ing" (get it?) me through. Open doorways, open skies, open hearts. 

Summer Lovin'

It's officially been a week since I have been home, and I have already felt like I've been home forever. I miss Majuro. But I love being able to spend time with friends and family. Last week Chenelle came down to my house and we dyed my hair. It was so boring and dark, so we lightened it. 

This last weekend I went to PUC to see Lizi and my brother, and then that afternoon Lizi and I went over to Rio to visit Fuller and Krystalynn. It was good times. 

Then, the last few days I went up to Chenelle's house and we spent time together. Oh, how I missed her. We have been making up for the loss of 10 months being together. Yesterday we rode her horses and last night we made smores. It was really cold! Today we played Dancing With the Stars on the Wii and went to Jamba Juice and watched Bride Wars. We also took a picture at almost every stoplight, just for kicks. :)

Oh, good times. Thursday Hollie is coming over... I am very excited!! And then we are going to go back to Rio for the graduation this weekend... I hear pretty much everyone will be there. Good times.... Well, just keeping the world updated. :) I'm sure it made your day~